Week one of training is under my belt and I can say I'm half prepared half more confused than the day I got here. What I do know is that it feels like family. Especially after having the weekend off to bond with my fellow counselors and explore a little of little rock (hah) I am feeling very comfortable in this new place and job. Plus we have rain and trees here, and cooler weather so I am liking it. I definitely miss a few things back in texas like my dogs, my family, my best friend, my own bedroom, and definitely HEB and people who say y'all as much as me. But I'm adapting well I feel and I didn't have as much of a culture shock as someone who came from Maine say (ps. totally as cool as single-tim-from-maine, so maine we're 2 for 2 cool people I know) Our counselors are from Little Rock (2) Lexa, Arkansas, New Jersey, Maine, Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Washington, Indiana, and Austin (me). So you can see we have a little bit of everything. We range from 20-28 but a lot are in the 23-24 range just like me! I feel like i'm getting very cheesy and not really into the meat of the story but frankly I'm still processing everything in my head. maybe I'll write notes in a journal so I can post it later. Till then
Cindy
Monday, September 19, 2011
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
in case you haven't figured it out.
i don't post here anymore.
my life is nothing like it was when i did anyways.
if me and her were standing side by side we wouldn't even seem related.
it's a good thing, it's a bad thing, it's just what fucking happens when you live for long enough.
but this blog is over.
if you look hard enough you could find my new one.
if you really are interested i'll send you a link.
if not, happy deleting.
Friday, May 16, 2008
summer adventures!
Here's my schedule for the summer...
May 19th - 23rd: College Connection @ MO Ranch with The Link
May 24th: Chris Hawkes and Friends @ Hickory Street Bar and Grill (come with!)
May 27th - May 31: Upper Leadership and Ropes Course training @ John Knox
June 1st - June 13th: Counselor Orientation and Camp Heartsong @ John Knox
June 13th-15th: Break (probably back in austin... call me!)
June 19th - 28th: PCUSA General Assembly (Youth Advisory Delegate) @ San Jose, CA
June 29th - July 8th: CAMP
July 8th - July 13th: 5 DAY BREAK. (let's make plans yo!)
July 13th - August 13th: CAMP
August 15th-17th: move into my new apartment!!!!
So call me if you want to get in on any of that, or if you're available on the times I said I had breaks.
other than that, look here for stories and updates
leave me text messages and nice phone messages for me to get on breaks
e-mail me about your awesome adventures...
AND most importantly... SEND ME MAIL!!!
even just a card, letter, sticker, whatever is amazing to get at camp, so splurge the 43 cents and send me something!!!
Cindy Farrar
1661 John Knox Rd.
Fischer, TX 78623
MUAH.
have a great summer.
Monday, May 5, 2008
bahaha. let's see if this imports.
Ten people that you would like to meet.
10. Taylor Hanson (again)
9. Van Hansis (as the world turns)
8. Luke Wilson
7. Hugh Grant
6. John Cusack
5. Kevin Fowler
4. Matthew Perry
3. Matthew McConahuey
2. Bear Grylls
1. Jason Schwartzman
10. Taylor Hanson (again)
9. Van Hansis (as the world turns)
8. Luke Wilson
7. Hugh Grant
6. John Cusack
5. Kevin Fowler
4. Matthew Perry
3. Matthew McConahuey
2. Bear Grylls
1. Jason Schwartzman
Friday, April 4, 2008
living the (bitter)sweet life.
i remember the last post, but don't quite remember when i posted it, but i know it's been a while-ish. at least as far as blogs go. i think i updated my xanga page or something and got distracted.
that and there was nothing really new to update the masses (read: the nonexistant readership of this blog) with.
but... now that i've had a pretty darn eventful weekend under my belt, it might be a good time to update.
lets start with friday. I cleaned at S&L's place like usual, but then I had to rush to get home since i was supposed to be at John Knox at 5:30 for upperleadership training.
i'm suprised i actually made it there in about 4.5 hours because I ran into a bad wreck on 35 south of denton, then i stopped at home to take a quick shower and eat a sandwich, and i got stuck behind slow people on the roads to camp (but that ALWAYS happens).
so after running around camp for 10 minutes, i finally figured out where everyone else was. (it's not a small camp either!) and i found out i wasn't even the last one there even though i was half an hour late.
ronnie made us delicious hamburgers (although rumor has it he made tortilla soup for another group, but not us... dang!) and we mainly just caught up. after dinner we played some games, and chatted some more, and then we did a short devotional and maybe some other stuff.
we were sleeping in red oak, guys on one side, girls on the other. well I was the only girl! dang. it was kind of lonely. but next time jeanna and alex will be there i'm sure.
saturday morning we had pancakes and got down to work on talking about the summer and what we had in mind for it. lunch was sandwiches, and then we got out about 3pm.
i don't really think we got a whole lot done for what i was expecting, but i guess we did get to know eachother a little better, which is important if we're going to be working together to run the camp this summer.
so i came home saturday and was just planning on chilling out (my parents ran off to some church dinner thing) but decided to make a quick HEB (oh, how i have missed thee HEB) trip to get some ever-addictive Pomegranate Italain Soda. Well who should I run into there but stacey gibson. I helped her track down cups (next to the laundry detergent really?) for making jello shots, and she invited to me to jose's surprise birthday party that she was throwing. I know him from church, didn't have anything else to do, and a little free booze never hurt anyone. so i went home, got ready, and headed over to their apartment.
the only people i knew there were stacey, laura and jose, everyone else was one of jose's poker buddies, or part of the sanchez family, so i thought i was in for an awkward night, but after getting some drinking games going, it wasn't awkward at all.
after tapping the keg, making a trip for more cups and a ping pong ball, we started a game of beer pong. which needless to say, i BEASTED at. i sunk 5 out of the other teams 6 cups. and sunk the game winning point. CHYEAH!
after that point i earned the nickname Cedar Park. (i guess cedar park-ers are big drinkers. well i didn't learn it there, i didn't drink in high school, but i guess they didn't know that)
after the game it was getting pretty late (well early... i guess) and since most people either had church (i know, we're going to hell) or work in the morning most people started heading out. i stuck around for a while longer, and ended up talking with one of jose's friends cody for a while and we exchanged numbers before he left.
eventually i headed out too, i was planning on spending the night, but it just didn't feel right, and i think i might have pissed stacey off inadvertantly somehow and she wasn't talking to me. oh well. (completely sober at this point. i'm not a drinker and driver!)
sunday i went to church and then afterwards went and ate a thundercloud downtown with lisa (my amazing, gorgeous, fabulous best friend) and we talked about guatemala some. then i got to see her new bearded lizards that she bought. their names are Pink and Floyd. (although i found out now, that they are sick, so she might be getting new ones :-( ) but anyways, they're awesome! they're so cute, and they wave at eachother. bahaha.
sunday night me and my brother went and helped our dad lead sr. high youth group. we did a little piece on budgeting and how much stuff actually costs and the importance of saving and tithing. it was fun.
monday morning i drove home (i mean back to denton) and thought i was going to get into some rain but never did, (thanks, God, you KNOW how much i hate driving in rain) and monday night we went to Speed Zone (used to be malibu grand prix) and did some go-kart racing. probably the most fun i've had in a long time. i laughed seriously the whole way when i was driving.
i never really thought much about exchanging numbers with cody since i dont't really do that great of a job of keeping in touch with people, and i figured i wouldn't be seeing him soon, but we've been texting everyday, and on wednesday night we had a freaking texting marathon, we just texted for 4 hours straight. (it was fun, but my bill is going to SUCK!) i don't know if that's going anywhere. but it's just fun to talk to him for now.
he's coming up tomorrow for the races and staying through sunday and we're supposed to hang out (and he's bringing my camera that i left) so that should be fun anyways.
wow this is the longest blog ever.
the end.
that and there was nothing really new to update the masses (read: the nonexistant readership of this blog) with.
but... now that i've had a pretty darn eventful weekend under my belt, it might be a good time to update.
lets start with friday. I cleaned at S&L's place like usual, but then I had to rush to get home since i was supposed to be at John Knox at 5:30 for upperleadership training.
i'm suprised i actually made it there in about 4.5 hours because I ran into a bad wreck on 35 south of denton, then i stopped at home to take a quick shower and eat a sandwich, and i got stuck behind slow people on the roads to camp (but that ALWAYS happens).
so after running around camp for 10 minutes, i finally figured out where everyone else was. (it's not a small camp either!) and i found out i wasn't even the last one there even though i was half an hour late.
ronnie made us delicious hamburgers (although rumor has it he made tortilla soup for another group, but not us... dang!) and we mainly just caught up. after dinner we played some games, and chatted some more, and then we did a short devotional and maybe some other stuff.
we were sleeping in red oak, guys on one side, girls on the other. well I was the only girl! dang. it was kind of lonely. but next time jeanna and alex will be there i'm sure.
saturday morning we had pancakes and got down to work on talking about the summer and what we had in mind for it. lunch was sandwiches, and then we got out about 3pm.
i don't really think we got a whole lot done for what i was expecting, but i guess we did get to know eachother a little better, which is important if we're going to be working together to run the camp this summer.
so i came home saturday and was just planning on chilling out (my parents ran off to some church dinner thing) but decided to make a quick HEB (oh, how i have missed thee HEB) trip to get some ever-addictive Pomegranate Italain Soda. Well who should I run into there but stacey gibson. I helped her track down cups (next to the laundry detergent really?) for making jello shots, and she invited to me to jose's surprise birthday party that she was throwing. I know him from church, didn't have anything else to do, and a little free booze never hurt anyone. so i went home, got ready, and headed over to their apartment.
the only people i knew there were stacey, laura and jose, everyone else was one of jose's poker buddies, or part of the sanchez family, so i thought i was in for an awkward night, but after getting some drinking games going, it wasn't awkward at all.
after tapping the keg, making a trip for more cups and a ping pong ball, we started a game of beer pong. which needless to say, i BEASTED at. i sunk 5 out of the other teams 6 cups. and sunk the game winning point. CHYEAH!
after that point i earned the nickname Cedar Park. (i guess cedar park-ers are big drinkers. well i didn't learn it there, i didn't drink in high school, but i guess they didn't know that)
after the game it was getting pretty late (well early... i guess) and since most people either had church (i know, we're going to hell) or work in the morning most people started heading out. i stuck around for a while longer, and ended up talking with one of jose's friends cody for a while and we exchanged numbers before he left.
eventually i headed out too, i was planning on spending the night, but it just didn't feel right, and i think i might have pissed stacey off inadvertantly somehow and she wasn't talking to me. oh well. (completely sober at this point. i'm not a drinker and driver!)
sunday i went to church and then afterwards went and ate a thundercloud downtown with lisa (my amazing, gorgeous, fabulous best friend) and we talked about guatemala some. then i got to see her new bearded lizards that she bought. their names are Pink and Floyd. (although i found out now, that they are sick, so she might be getting new ones :-( ) but anyways, they're awesome! they're so cute, and they wave at eachother. bahaha.
sunday night me and my brother went and helped our dad lead sr. high youth group. we did a little piece on budgeting and how much stuff actually costs and the importance of saving and tithing. it was fun.
monday morning i drove home (i mean back to denton) and thought i was going to get into some rain but never did, (thanks, God, you KNOW how much i hate driving in rain) and monday night we went to Speed Zone (used to be malibu grand prix) and did some go-kart racing. probably the most fun i've had in a long time. i laughed seriously the whole way when i was driving.
i never really thought much about exchanging numbers with cody since i dont't really do that great of a job of keeping in touch with people, and i figured i wouldn't be seeing him soon, but we've been texting everyday, and on wednesday night we had a freaking texting marathon, we just texted for 4 hours straight. (it was fun, but my bill is going to SUCK!) i don't know if that's going anywhere. but it's just fun to talk to him for now.
he's coming up tomorrow for the races and staying through sunday and we're supposed to hang out (and he's bringing my camera that i left) so that should be fun anyways.
wow this is the longest blog ever.
the end.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
apparently every title on my blog has the world life in it somewhere
so i guess i'll continue the trend.
and i guess it's a pretty good thing to write about anyways, it's the only thing we know anything about (even though we still know very little. haha)
so i have a song up on my myspace profile from colbie caillat (i'm surrrre you've heard of her, because her song bubbly got about a bajillion hours of radio play... anyways)
anyways the song is about a relationship or whatever. but every time i listen to the song the lines that catch my attention are:
"my feet are stuck here
against the pavement
i wanna break free
i wanna make it"
and it has nothing to do with being in a relationship, the way i take it anyways.
which is why i really put the song on my profile. because that's exactly how i feel right now.
i feel trapped in my own life. completely stuck against this way that i am
and i do want to break free. but not only that, i want to make it.
i know that if i keep going the way i am, that i won't.
it's not just about realizing that you don't want to be where you are
it's about realizing that being where you is jeapordizing everything you are.
but now what? you know.
making an honest to goodness 180 change in your life is probably the hardest thing to do ever.
and how do you even begin? when there are so many things going wrong, how do you know where to start.
and as much as you just want to forget the past, how do you convince everyone else to as well?
and i guess it's a pretty good thing to write about anyways, it's the only thing we know anything about (even though we still know very little. haha)
so i have a song up on my myspace profile from colbie caillat (i'm surrrre you've heard of her, because her song bubbly got about a bajillion hours of radio play... anyways)
anyways the song is about a relationship or whatever. but every time i listen to the song the lines that catch my attention are:
"my feet are stuck here
against the pavement
i wanna break free
i wanna make it"
and it has nothing to do with being in a relationship, the way i take it anyways.
which is why i really put the song on my profile. because that's exactly how i feel right now.
i feel trapped in my own life. completely stuck against this way that i am
and i do want to break free. but not only that, i want to make it.
i know that if i keep going the way i am, that i won't.
it's not just about realizing that you don't want to be where you are
it's about realizing that being where you is jeapordizing everything you are.
but now what? you know.
making an honest to goodness 180 change in your life is probably the hardest thing to do ever.
and how do you even begin? when there are so many things going wrong, how do you know where to start.
and as much as you just want to forget the past, how do you convince everyone else to as well?
Friday, March 21, 2008
life
i'm pretty frustrated right now.
i don't want this blog to be about complaining but right now i just need a place to vent
i feel like talking about all of this to someone, but everyone in my life right now doesn't feel like talking.
that's part of the reason i'm feeling so down, is just cause everyone else is either sick or being a big party pooper.
like i get that we have all this emotional stuff to deal with, but i can't be that way all the time.
coming back home yesterday i was ready to go home, and getting cranky because everyone was already starting to act really moody and annoying.
but then coming back home to my dorm SUCKED. it didn't feel like coming home at all. i came home to a messy, empty room and all the problems that existed before the trip. it just wasn't fun at all. then the internet wasn't working, and our bathroom was shut down, and i can't do my laundry, and it was just like the last straw. you know. like i realize all these people where i just came from don't have any of that stuff on a daily basis and they get a long fine. but when you're supposed to be coming home, it's supposed to be different.
every little thing it seems is getting on my nerves.
and i don't want to go to school on monday. i don't. i don't feel like ever stepping foot in a classroom again. i hate school. i hate all the bullshit that it really boils down to. i hate seeing that i could live off of so much less than what i have, and then coming back to ridiculous housing payments, and tuition payments and all of this other money that i feel like isn't the best investment of my resources.
i don't feel like eating any of the food here. i get sort of hungry but don't feel like any of the places i could go to. and i freaking hate fast food. i HATE it. but that's all i can eat anymore cause even if i buy something at walmart i don't have any way to cook it.
i wish all this bullshit had dissapeared while i was away. i wish i wouldn't have to come back to a hall full of girls who call me a skank and steal my whiteboard, or back to liking this douche nozzle that i know isn't good for me, or wondering how i will have the money to pay for my next housing payment, or when i can go back and give plasma so i can have money.
i hate that everyone sick. it makes me so upset. i wish everyone could be well and not have to feel like shit. shannon and leslie are sick, and brandi and sarah don't feel good, and my dad has vertigo, and brandon got sick today, kari still has a migrane, and it's just like. STOP why is god doing this? you know.
like i hate seeing people i really like being sick. because i really have no control over it.
in guatemala i realized so much about the people that i like. or really about the people that are actually out there instead of the assholes that i like. and i come back and i'm disgusted by them, but in the back of my head i know i still like them. because what i fear worse than rejection and pain is not even having someone to like. how stupid!
and i hate finding stuff out about a trip post trip, where it makes you feel like you were actually the outsider on the trip, when during the trip you couldn't have been more oblivious.
and all the pictures just make me want to barf.
i look disgusting, and i know i felt it all week long.
i just wish i could look different. i miss my hair, and my bangs always look greasy and it makes me wish i had never cut it.
and of course this week my face breaks out probably the worst that it has in years and i look like a fat cow.
tomorrow i have so much to do. i have to actually get started on school stuff or i know i never will (and failing out of college is not really an option) and i have to clean my room, (although i really just want to throw everything out, because i really don't use any of this shit)
sorry for the rant. hope you didn't read it. (HAH who am i kidding? NO ONE READS THIS)
Cindy
i don't want this blog to be about complaining but right now i just need a place to vent
i feel like talking about all of this to someone, but everyone in my life right now doesn't feel like talking.
that's part of the reason i'm feeling so down, is just cause everyone else is either sick or being a big party pooper.
like i get that we have all this emotional stuff to deal with, but i can't be that way all the time.
coming back home yesterday i was ready to go home, and getting cranky because everyone was already starting to act really moody and annoying.
but then coming back home to my dorm SUCKED. it didn't feel like coming home at all. i came home to a messy, empty room and all the problems that existed before the trip. it just wasn't fun at all. then the internet wasn't working, and our bathroom was shut down, and i can't do my laundry, and it was just like the last straw. you know. like i realize all these people where i just came from don't have any of that stuff on a daily basis and they get a long fine. but when you're supposed to be coming home, it's supposed to be different.
every little thing it seems is getting on my nerves.
and i don't want to go to school on monday. i don't. i don't feel like ever stepping foot in a classroom again. i hate school. i hate all the bullshit that it really boils down to. i hate seeing that i could live off of so much less than what i have, and then coming back to ridiculous housing payments, and tuition payments and all of this other money that i feel like isn't the best investment of my resources.
i don't feel like eating any of the food here. i get sort of hungry but don't feel like any of the places i could go to. and i freaking hate fast food. i HATE it. but that's all i can eat anymore cause even if i buy something at walmart i don't have any way to cook it.
i wish all this bullshit had dissapeared while i was away. i wish i wouldn't have to come back to a hall full of girls who call me a skank and steal my whiteboard, or back to liking this douche nozzle that i know isn't good for me, or wondering how i will have the money to pay for my next housing payment, or when i can go back and give plasma so i can have money.
i hate that everyone sick. it makes me so upset. i wish everyone could be well and not have to feel like shit. shannon and leslie are sick, and brandi and sarah don't feel good, and my dad has vertigo, and brandon got sick today, kari still has a migrane, and it's just like. STOP why is god doing this? you know.
like i hate seeing people i really like being sick. because i really have no control over it.
in guatemala i realized so much about the people that i like. or really about the people that are actually out there instead of the assholes that i like. and i come back and i'm disgusted by them, but in the back of my head i know i still like them. because what i fear worse than rejection and pain is not even having someone to like. how stupid!
and i hate finding stuff out about a trip post trip, where it makes you feel like you were actually the outsider on the trip, when during the trip you couldn't have been more oblivious.
and all the pictures just make me want to barf.
i look disgusting, and i know i felt it all week long.
i just wish i could look different. i miss my hair, and my bangs always look greasy and it makes me wish i had never cut it.
and of course this week my face breaks out probably the worst that it has in years and i look like a fat cow.
tomorrow i have so much to do. i have to actually get started on school stuff or i know i never will (and failing out of college is not really an option) and i have to clean my room, (although i really just want to throw everything out, because i really don't use any of this shit)
sorry for the rant. hope you didn't read it. (HAH who am i kidding? NO ONE READS THIS)
Cindy
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